Secret to Keeping Promises to Yourself + Becoming Unstoppable

In 2019 I wrote a post with 3 tips to be more confident. One of the tips I mentioned was to keep your promises to yourself. But that can be quite a hard task. Trust me, I know. So today I wanted to dive back into confidence + help you keep your promises to yourself. Once you learn this skill, you’ll be unstoppable.

In 2020, I started the year reading a book that totally changed my point of view on achieving goals and creating habits. So in 2021, I decided to start the year re-reading this book to remind myself of all the things this book taught me and re-motivate myself. And I was reminded of the one tip that blew my mind when I read the book the previous year.

See, when we are trying to achieve goals and change our habits, we often tell ourselves “I need to eat healthy” or “I need to work harder” or “I need to ______”. But that is not the most effective way of changing your habits and achieving goals.

In his book “Atomic Habits,” James Clear gives one crucial piece of advice that no other self-help book gives you.

The ultimate form of intrinsic motivation is when a habit becomes part of your identity. It’s one thing to say I’m the type of person who wants this. It’s something very different to say I’m the type of person who IS this.

Page 33 of Atomic Habits by James Clear

Your behaviors are usually a reflection of your identity. What you do is an indication of the type of person you believe you are – either consciously or unconsciously.

Page 34 of Atomic Habits by James Clear

After reading this piece of wisdom, something just clicked in my head. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still working on this myself in certain areas. But this part of the book really clarified things for me.

Don’t eat veggies because you need to be healthy, eat them because you ARE a healthy person.

Don’t spend 10 hours working because you need to work harder, spend 10 hours working because you ARE a hard worker.

Don’t do this because you need that, but do this because you ARE that.

Creating that mindset shift for yourself helps you to keep your own promises to yourself. It’s hard to wake up in the morning and do your morning routine when it feels like an item you need to check off your list. But it’s not that hard to wake up in the morning and do your morning routine when it is your identity and it is who you are!

I’ve been practicing this mindset shift in two particular areas of my life the past two months and have noticed quite the difference in my health goals and my career goals.

So if you are struggling with self confidence and in particular with keeping your own promises to yourself, try this mindset shift. When you don’t feel like doing the habits that upgrade your life, remind yourself of who you are!

You are not a failure, you are not a lazy bum, you are not incapable of anything.

In fact, you are an overcomer, you are a go-getter, and you are capable of so much more than you can even grasp. Now go and live your loveliest life, you powerful being!

I highly recommend you pick up Atomic Habits by James Clear. There’s so many more good tips for elevating your life!

♥ Alena